Before You Buy That Cell Phone...

Before you buy that cell phone...
I see too often that cell phones and devices are used by parents to avoid responsibility. You see it, too. Turn on the video games and you will not hear from your child for hours. No drama, no effort, no interaction needed. But, every time that you send your child off with a device, just remember that someone else is parenting while you are not. Daily in my classroom, I see children imitating what they have viewed on YouTube and TikTok, and I hear their frustration over parents who are so distracted by their own cell phones that they have little time for family. Hmm... Do you think this has any impact on an uptick in behavior problems at school? But I digress...

Don't misunderstand. I utilize Chromebooks and technology in my one-to-one 5th grade classroom more often than many of my colleagues. I even earned my Technology Specialist certification and a Masters Degree in Technology Integration. I believe that technology used correctly can give teachers the ability to engage and reach every student simultaneously with personalized instruction and remediation. Technology can transform instruction. But, only if it is done right. I am not worried about supervised, carefully-planned, educational technology, though. The problem is unsupervised access to the World Wide Web by children.

My 30-something sons and 15-year-old daughter have and still are navigating this tech jungle, so I understand the constant beating of the "but-everyone-else-has-one" drum. And yes, I finally agreed and got a phone for our daughter to the chagrin of her older brothers. No she isn't a "spoiled brat." Times change. But unlike many parents today, I did not make the decision to give unfettered access to social media or the web.

Before she even knew she was getting a phone, I researched monitoring apps and installed software on her device to protect her. We looked at several options and finally settled on WebWatcher, primarily because of its reviews from PC magazine. Yes, we had to cough up some bucks ($160 a year) for the service, but peace of mind is worth it. There are several other excellent monitoring options that are specific to iPhone or Android, so I suggest checking out Bark, Qustodio, Circle, etc. if you are looking for options. Using the Webwatcher app, I have the opportunity to see into her device to view every text message, installation, photo, app, and phone call she makes. I also get program alerts based on key words, location tracking, and an alarm. For an extra fee, I can even have the app record screen shots of her device every few seconds to see exactly what she is doing and saying on any app any time.

Before you tell me that I am invading her privacy, let me remind you that I grew up during an era when I had to sit in the kitchen, while my mom was cooking and my sisters were doing their homework, to talk to my boyfriend on our one family telephone. Somehow I survived. And this phone she is using belongs to me. I paid for it, I pay for the phone line charges every month, I can confiscate it, and my daughter's safety is my responsibility. She knows that the Webwatcher software is installed, and I showed her exactly what I can see. That is the point. I want her to know that whatever she does online is public to me and ultimately to all of you.

Finally, she is still not allowed to have any social media. Every parent is aware that 15-year-olds can make impulsive decisions. There is a reason why most of the apps like Facebook, Musical.ly, and Snapchat have an age restriction of 13+ and Tiktok, a favorite of many of my 10-year-old fifth graders, has a recommended age of 16+. These apps are breeding grounds for social bullying, attract sexual predators, and are filled with explicit, inappropriate content. She has no business there. In fact, it is my job as a parent to protect her from the dangers she might encounter.

So, I am not going to apologize for being THAT parent! One day, she will thank me when she doesn't have to cover up her sketchy online profile before applying for college, isn't trying to remove an explicit picture from a child porn site, and doesn't go missing after meeting up with her new Internet "friend." We might save a lot of money on professional counseling, too. And if you all want to take to social media to discuss how out-of-touch I am with modern reality, go for it. I don't care. I am a parent, not my child's friend.

Webwatcher Screenshot